no more job! it feels great in a way. well, they decided on early dismissal. which is good. i have cny to myself.
everyting was fine today. dinner with colleagues was nice. times spent were definately good.
after you left. i was left standing there stunned for 5 mins. i never knew what to do. u really mean alot to me. standing there talking for 1 whole hour. i am really lost. not that i never expected things to turn out this way but why did u have to remain so hard. why cant you just go through everything again, reconsider and perhaps think everything through. surely we have a solution. frankly, i never wanted that moment to end. i wanted someone to freeze time there.
you said 2 months since december. you know things were happening. you claimed no spark. nothing between. yes, i agree i maybe really that a lousy person. well, you should know i was behind you all this while. as many who said, they would have already been touched by what i have done. it may not be alot. its just the many small things that i have done.
i believe strongly that something is really keeping you back. throughout that 1 hour you were just saying the same thing over and over. i mean, i have gotten the message, but cant you actually tell that i am trying to talk things out? i regret being such a good friend. i rather be that hi-bye friend, at least then, as u said, chances may have been greater.
i do not see what is wrong with knowing you inside out. when you know that person well, and have grown to like the person u know so well, whats actually wrong with growing to like her? its a little natural, its beyond control. and why would anyone prefer a hi-bye friend to a close one. stubborn u may think i am, but after all this, i still think we can really be that sweet couple.
after being stunned for 5 mins, i took that long 40min walk home.the last bus left hours ago. the wind was cold. my mind was really blank. tears dropped just like that. dreams dashed. through out that 40min i really hoped i had someone to talk to. the feeling was really bad.
i dont mind making sacrifices. am i that bad a person? cant you just grant me that wish?
i love you
